thrive without strive
A legend: Siddharta Gautama was sitting by a river when a lute player and his student passed by in a boat. The musician happened to be saying: “If you tighten the string too tight it will snap and if you make the string too loose it will not play…”
Siddharta had been striving, starving himself, fighting himself, living the ascetic life. In that moment, though, he understood middle way practice. (He later became known as The Buddha.)
We are like ascetics. Our endeavors, dreams, goals. Yes to success. Pushing more. My own favorite story: 'I must work hard all the time, or else I lose my edge. Guilt.'
How to endeavor where we are neither slacking off nor fighting at all cost? How to navigate tension and release, chaos and rigidity. No solid ground. How can I trust that this middle path is productive? (Do I have to be productive?)
Thing is, our agony surfaces from our desire to become better people. We want to contribute. We want the ease of wellbeing too. A tricky struggle. Human. But at heart I am also saying that I can't trust myself. Which says, I'm no good. Unless I push. And so I go forward from a space of brokenness, at war.
Instead: The possibility of practice.
A paradox: In the depths of my humanity, the heights of my potential. It all shows up in the middle way. To aspire to unfold into the truth of my humanness, loving who I am already. And practicing with what surfaces, to bring forth the truth of my potential. This, instead of using the drive of my anxiety, the thought that if I tighten up things will shape up.
I am finally enough. Keep on practicing. In this love, I gladly dare to become more of who I am already. No longer fighting what is flawed. Choosing wholeness.
"The hardest part (...) is to own up to the tortures that we create for ourselves and those we create for others," writes the philosopher John Kaag. "Owning up: to recollect, to regret, to be responsible, ultimately to forgive and love."
Loving this truth then, that it's meaningful to be at home amid tension and release, showing up with kindness and fierceness. Of course. This is courage. Trusting this.
How will you play with tension and release this week, loving who you are and gladly bringing this out even more: Just so, just so. How will you practice? Reflect on it. Journal on it. Do something different and middle-way this week!
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