A fierce way of being
This will be the last mailing until the new year, with an unconventional theme.
I had dismissed this post originally as "dangerous." Thinking it would be too alienating, embarrassing, woo-woo. But in rebel and season spirit: Let's talk about love.
Interesting, though, how I fell in the very trap we all slip into, confusing us: We experience love as emotion. A feeling. And we think, that's it. It doesn't belong in our endeavors and leadership.
The thing is: The truth of love is not an emotion but a grounded way of being, a state of awareness, a way of seeing ourselves and others. It's radical, relentless, because it can't co-exist with fear. And, oh, we have fear when it comes to love. The heart so guarded, wanting, hurting. Thing is, as soon as I want reality to be any different than what it is, I am no longer in love and can't see clearly. This is intense.
Anthony De Mello* says that we don’t want to wake up to this truth. We don't want to live love. I'll love and I'll be happy provided I have this and that and the other thing. But when I let go of all external conditions for love, "my dependence dies," he writes. "My capacity to love is born: To see at last with a vision that is unclouded by fear or desire."
We are built for love, love-able. "There is much, much more love in our hearts than we as adults have been conditioned to believe is appropriate to express," writes the dancer-teacher Kate Johnson. So dare we shift from love as conditioned, emotional to love as lifestyle, world view, at work and elsewhere alike?
Why not? Love as a state of awareness is in flight with wisdom. Two wings balancing each other. We are built for love. We are built for the insight (wisdom) too. We won't crash. A way of being that thrives in uncertainty, paradox. An intentional life.
No controlling, needing, overwhelming, feeling overwhelmed. Space to let go. Fierce. Clarity in my perception. With calm grace. A commitment to compassion. But also joy. Wild-hearted yet accurate in my response. Allowing stumbling. And beauty.
We all become become lovably human.
How will you practice love as a way of seeing yourself and others in 2020? How will you practice love as a way of being with your endeavors?
credit: breno machado | unsplash
And some more:
* Anthony De Mello - Awareness: The perils and Opportunities of Reality. I so highly recommend this slim little book!
A thought for the holidays: How about taking some time to get to know love as awareness? How about sitting down with someone who causes you anxiety, whom you dislike? Your nephew visiting, a colleague...it doesn't matter. You are there to see this one other human being for who they truly are. Get to know them better. No business or school talk. Just asking questions, listening, reflecting, sharing a bit of yourself as well. Until you feel something shifting for yourself. Your heart. What do you notice?
Part of a poem by Hafiz. It expresses all of this better than any other words:
"I hold the Lion’s Paw
Whenever I dance.
I know the ecstasy of the falcon’s wings
When they make love against the sky,
And the sun and moon
Sometimes argue over
Who will tuck me in at night."
Thank you for choosing to read this post: I do not take it lightly. Contact me with your thoughts. I will respond,
Did someone remarkable send you this way or you just happened to come across this page?
