perfectionism. pragmatism. progress
Perfectionism: It held me back so many years. Still does at times. And I know I am far from alone in this. Impossible standards.
Impossible because the standards were stories I made up. Impossible, because perfection is not the truth of reality (and would be boring). Impossible, because seeking perfection is self-defeating, perpetuating a belief that I am not good enough.
Perfectionism does not lead to perfection, only disappointment. Perfectionism is not the same as seeking quality. The latter we will test in the world. The former sits as an anxiety in our bodies.
What else then. We want to do great work, a generosity to our lives, meaning. We want to show up with our best. Yet how do we manage our own storied expectations?
"You know what’s better than building things up in your imagination? Building things up in real life," writes Ryan Holiday in The Daily Stoic. The Stoics were very sane. They even imagined imperfection, how bad things might turn out, invariably realizing that a life-death situation is seldom at stake when we bring a quality endeavor into the world; the gift of learning. Marcus Aurelius wrote “Don’t go expecting Plato’s Republic; be satisfied with even the smallest progress.”
We can create, do our best, send things off, publish a piece, speak on a stage. We really, really can. We aren't what we ship. Breath. Let go.
The open mind, spaciousness. The mind trusting itself in doing its best work, feet on the ground. Pragmatic. Firm yet kind. Connected to reality, the journey, this permission to lean in. To welcome our imperfection, nothing linear, human, quality arising: Using the truth of how things actually are.
Can I be with the purity of my intent, humility holding hands with confidence, fulfillment in progress? Can I trust this quiet paradox?
We are built for this reality. A calmer way. It is in this calm that we will create our best work. Because it matters. Pulled by love for what is possible, love for what is real. I am enough. It's all I have. An offering. Way plenty.
A quote to pair the blog text with:
"To see ourselves as just another person deserving love is a valuable exercise. Here we start to dis-identify with ourselves, see ourselves in more objective terms. When we can see ourselves as just another imperfect human, equally deserving of love as anyone else, it becomes easier to offer love to ourselves." —Kevin Griffin.
A pragmatic tool: For many of us it helps to schedule blocks of time to do our work, marked on a calendar. Then: To be firm in walking away from the project when a time block ends. Discipline not in doing more work, but in letting go. To schedule a time to ship and share: Your speech, the article, a report, a painting, a website launch, a performance.
Here is a take by Seth Godin: "The only choice is to launch before you’re ready. Before it’s perfect. Before it’s 100% proven to be no risk to you. At that moment, your resistance says, “don’t ship it, it’s crappy stuff. We don’t ship crap.” And it’s true that you shouldn’t ship work that’s hurried, sloppy or ungenerous. But what’s actually on offer is something scrappy. Scrappy means that while it’s unpolished, it’s better than good enough. Scrappy doesn’t care about cosmetics as much as it cares about impact. Scrappy is flexible and resilient and ready to learn. Ship scrappy.
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